Your Burning Facebook Questions, Answered!

Well hello and Guten Fritag to you all! This week, things are going to be a little different. On Tuesday, I asked for blog suggestions via Facebook, and because I liked all three of them so much, I’d like to address them all in a single post, right here, right now. Without further ado, questions.

Amber Peter Hugus is my former high school English teacher and play/musical director. She is generally awesome and has three adorable sons. Amber writes: “A peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss.” Let’s.

Not only is this an homage to the wonderful and verklempt Linda Richman, but it also calls in to question the element of confusion inherent in many English words. Sure, when you think about it, “peanut” makes sense. The fruit is found within the shell, much like a pea in a pod, and it sure as hell tastes like a nut. BOOM, peanut, answered. But Wikipedia tells me it is, in fact, a bean. This has the possibility to confuse children, adults and even foreigners, and yet, we all accept it as fact. And I would say, because of its name, the peanut is accepted as a nut itself. A simple misnomer has changed the way we think about an entire species of bean. Are nuts better than beans? Were they more valuable in olden times? Will anyone ever truly take the peanut for what it is: A lowly, dried out bean? The world may never know.

KC Andrew Hensley is my friend and owner of my favorite bar in Pocatello, The Flipside. He is a veteran and has a lip piercing. KC writes: “Is Jay walking really such a crime?”

Now, we can only assume that KC is talking about beloved southeastern Idaho news anchor, Jay Hildebrandt. And the way that he phrased his question leads me to believe that Jay has in fact been in trouble with the law for his walking before. But lo! This is news to me. I mean, I guess there was the time Jay was stomping all over that crime scene evidence, and I guess the police would consider that tampering, or whatever. And then there was the time Jay was walking, but while he was walking, he was kicking Karole in the back of the foot. I wouldn’t necessarily call that a crime, but I’m sure it was annoying. I’m no legal eagle, but I assume that Jay walking around isn’t necessarily illegal, unless by walking he manages to do something that is also a crime (like tampering with that evidence!). So I’m going to say, “No,” on this one, only because Jay is usually really nice when he walks. USUALLY.

[Disclaimer: Jay Hildrebrant never actually trampled on crime scene evidence and he has probably never kicked Karole Honas in the back of the foot on purpose. He is always nice when he walks.]

And FINALLY, Andrew Lericos is one of my best friends from college. He is Greek, tangy and his mother is named after a hurricane. Andrew writes: “What ever happened to Ja Rule?”

Hey Andrew, great question. Ja Rule was insanely popular in and around the time when MTV’s Spring Break was in its heyday. He added the rap vocals to such classics as “What’s Love? (Featuring Jennifer Lopez)” and “I’m Real (Also Featuring Jennifer Lopez).” The point is, he really liked Jennifer Lopez. He probably did some other stuff, but we’re not really sure what that is. Ja Rule was the white person’s answer to 2000s gangster rap. Maybe 50 Cent was a little too jail yard workout tape for you, maybe you didn’t really feel like DMX spoke to your feline side. Well, Ja Rule was there to pick up the slack.

But he dropped off the face of the earth sometime when time forgot, and we only really remember him when someone writes a blog post, like the LA Times blog, “Ministry of Gossip.”

In July, the Ministry wrote: “Ja Rule was sentenced Monday to more than two years in prison for failing to file tax returns for three years. The rapper, real name Jeffrey Atkins, had begun a two-year prison sentence in June after pleading guilty to a 2007 weapons-related charge.”

So he’s been in jail! BOOM. Answered.

Well everybody, this has been fun. Thanks to Amber, KC and Andrew for all of your questions, and if any of you other Loyal Readers out there want me to take a crack at your queries, feel free to post them in a comment or on Facebook. If not, next week will just be about my childhood again. See ya then!!


4 thoughts on “Your Burning Facebook Questions, Answered!

  1. I heard Ja Rule’s once-popular “Livin’ It Up” on XM radio the other day, and said aloud to the car, what the FUCK ever happened to him? I was aware of his incarceration, but I think before he was cuffed, he “retired” from the game, which I reminded myself about 2 seconds post-question. Do you get retirement funds from The Rap Game? I wonder…

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