[Scene: An unattended bottle of wine sits on a table. Jamie walks into the room, sees the wine, pours himself a glass and begins to take a sip. Brittany enters.]
Brittany: Hey man! Paws off the wine, Twisted Sister. Who do you think you are anyway?
Jamie: WHAT. You’re nutty, friend. I saw this wine first. Finders keepers, losers weepers, Nard.
Brittany: Seriously, just back away from the challis, mon ami.
Jamie: No! Like I said, I got here first. Plus, I don’t see any “Brittany’s Wine” stickers all over this shit. You act like it has your name on it!
[Jamie takes a sip, closing his eyes. He opens them to a horrifying sight, causing him to spew red wine all over Brittany’s squinted eyes. She’s holding the wine bottle exceedingly close to Jamie’s face. We see what it says.]
Brittany: [smacking chops, satisfyingly exhales and walks away].