So, I’ve had this butternut squash sitting around my kitchen for a really long time, and tonight I baked it. It wasn’t so hot, even though I (lam)basted it with butter and cinnamon. But I stumbled upon this recipe for butternut squash souffle, which requires a baked squash. WHICH I SO CONVENIENTLY HAVE. So I decided to make the souffle.
This is the live blog of that experience. (N00bs, if you weren’t following the live experience, start from the bottom and work up.)
9:52 PM: IT IS AWESOME. TASTES LIKE PUMPKIN PIE. CONSISTENCY MUCH LIKE PUMPKIN PIE/FLAN. I AM VERY PLEASED. WELL WORTH THE EFFORT.
9:47 PM: OUT OF SHOWER CLEAN. OUT OF SOUFFLE CLEAN. FORK, THAT IS. TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE LONGER THAN SEVEN MINUTES.
9:29 PM: All right, look, I put the fork in a different location. And it was scummier than the first one I took out. What gives. I’m just gonna take a shower, come back and see what happens. And you know what? If the thing burns, then Sandy Moyer can just lump it. Because I don’t think she made this recipe with high elevations in mind.
9:27 PM: TEN SECONDS.
9:26 PM: FORK CAME OUT MOSTLY CLEAN. JUST GONNA LET IT COOK THE REST OF THE TIME ANYWAY THOUGH.
9:25 PM: THREE MINUTES. SITUATION HAS BEEN ELEVATED TO CAPS LOCK. OPENED THE OVEN AND IT SMELLS REAL GOOD. AM JUST GONNA CHECK IT NOW ANYWAY.
9:22 PM: Fork did not come out clean. Situation has been downgraded to sentence case. Could have showered. Added six minutes.
9:20 PM: FIFTY SECONDS. USING A FORK TO TEST. IS IT THE WOOD OF THE TOOTHPICK THAT DOES THE TRICK OR JUST THE FACT THAT YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THERE?? HOME EC NEVER PREPARED ME FOR THIS.
9:18 PM: DID NOT SCRAPE SHOWER. SCRAP. SCRAPPED IT. FIXED PREVIOUS POST. TWO MINUTES. HAVE NO TOOTHPICKS TO CHECK FOR DONENESS. MUST FIND SUITABLE SUBSTITUTE.
9:16 PM: FIVE MINUTES LEFT. SCRAPPED SHOWER BECAUSE REALISTICALLY I ALWAYS TAKE LONGER THAN SEVEN MINUTES. WHO WAS I KIDDING.
9:14 PM: SEVEN MINUTES LEFT BUT I REALLY WANT TO SHOWER. LIVE BLOGGING UPDATES WASTING TIME. CAN’T. MAKE. CHOICES. WITH. SQUASH. ON. LINE.
9:02 PM: With just 19 minutes to go, worry has set in. What if this souffle sucks? Will find BellaOnline’s Home Cooking Editor Sandy Moyer and make her pay… Wash is done!
8:57 PM: Feeling guilty about previous update. I actually suggested cuddling with Conan. Hoping anyone who saw that last update checks back to see this one. (Really just a ploy to drive more traffic to blog.) Twenty-two minutes left! Wash sounds like it’s on spin cycle.
8:52 PM: Jamie suggested cuddling with Conan O’Brien. I said, “Ew gross!” Freak.
8:50 PM: Thirty minutes left! Opened oven. May have been a mistake. Bubbles rising to top. Is that okay? Jamie’s being cute. Wants cocoa and cuddles. Can only offer souffle.
8:34 PM: Began laundering. Missed call from Jamie. Returned call to Jamie. He befriended a giant purple horse mascot. Confused for dinosaur. “I said, ‘You do some really good work,’ and it pranced away,” said Jamie. Forty-five minutes left!
8:18 PM: Is a souffle the kind of dish you can’t jump around the house with or else it’ll fall? Taking off moon shoes, just in case.
8:12 PM: In retrospect, doesn’t seem like absence of food processor (malice) will cause any damage. Have to wait until souffle is completely baked for certainty. One hour and eight minutes left.
8:10 PM: Dad off phone. Wants me to have fun and safe night. Does not know how dangerous laundry can be.
8:08 PM: One hour and twelve minutes left. Dad hanging up soon. He’s mailing me stewed tomatoes.
8:06 PM: SOUFFLE IS IN OVEN. Directed Dad to blog. “Oh there’s you and Jamie! Well you don’t look very happy…” “Dad it was a joke.” “Oh! It was a joke!”
8:01 PM: Need to grease pan. Can’t find lightning.
7:59 PM: Phone is dying. Trying to direct stepmom to blog. “Lou, write it down! Write it down!”
7:57 PM: Not sure if this has been enough beating. Slightly lumpy but mostly smooth. IN NEED OF SOUFFLE GUIDANCE.
7:52 PM: Beating eggs. Hurting arm. Wish could put down phone. Stepmom does not read blog. Talking about being introspective, psh.
7:50: Cracked eggs into sugary measuring cup. Took care of residual sweetness. Spilled some egg white onto table. MAY RESULT IN SALMONELLA. Poured eggs into squash. Souffle starting to become realization. Stepmom talking about old books.
7:44 PM: Added sugar. Measured in same measuring cup as milk. Some sugar stuck to cup. May result in slightly less sweet souffle. Added vanilla–due to extreme affinity for vanilla, added some extra. Added cinnamon. NO NUTMEG. MAY RESULT IN SLIGHTLY LESS NUTTY SOUFFLE. Dad passing phone to stepmom. Hard to mash with phone in neck.
7:37 PM: Adding 1/3 c. milk. Milk ran out just below the 1/3 c. line. May end up in a slightly dryer souffle. DAD STILL ON PHONE. REMINISCING ABOUT WHEN I WAS HOMECOMING QUEEN. GLORY DAYS.
7:35 PM: INTERRUPTION: Dad called. He just got home. From the SV homecoming football game. They love to get there before the game starts to watch that impressive band march into the stadium. “It’s really unique to watch your brother transition from when he was a freshman to now,” Lou Borghi. Little brother has adopted pinky wave during band performances, breaking band decorum.
7:34 PM: PROBLEM: When adding 3T. butter, realized I had already used butter in initial squash baking. And my butter comes in a tub not conducive to measuring. Just added a bunch. Paula Deen symptoms ensuing.
7:31 PM: Still picking bits of peel out of mashed squash. Recipe didn’t indicate whether or not to peel said squash, so I peeled most of it, but left some on as a test. This was silly. I should have just peeled the whole thing. Peel does not mash.
7:27 PM: Mashed up squash. It was really fun. I don’t have a food processor, so I used one of those hand masher things. PROS: Really great way to get out aggression. Fun puns like “squashing squash.” CON: Recipe calls for food processor. STAY TUNED TO SEE IF IT’S A PROBLEM.